It’s an event no one ever wants to have to face: you’ve lost a loved one, and now on top of your grief, you have to be the one in charge of going through and cleaning out their home, plus having to decide what to do with your loved one’s belongings.
Whether you’re going through the loss of a parent, elderly relative, friend, or someone else close to you, any loss is incredibly hard to go through. However, though you may think going through and clearing out their home would only hurt more, it can provide you with a way to process things and get some closure regarding their death. Learning how to pack up a loved one’s home after a loss can help you navigate this emotional process with care and sensitivity.
How to Clean Out a Home After a Loss
Let’s face it: cleaning out a late loved one’s home isn’t an easy task for anyone to take on, but ultimately it has to be done, and someone has to take charge of the process. To help you out during this period, we’ve compiled some tips to let you clean out your late loved one’s home efficiently, while also allowing yourself time to process and stay organized.
- Take Your Time
Grieving is personal, and there’s no set timeline for when to start cleaning. Allow yourself the space to process your emotions. Start when you feel mentally ready, and don’t pressure yourself to finish quickly. Approach the process slowly and gently, one step or room at a time. Be kind to yourself throughout, recognizing that healing and progress often come in small, meaningful steps.
- Find Important Documents
Before tackling the decluttering aspect of the home clean-out itself, identify and track down important documents (i.e a will, insurance documents, personal identification documents, their social security card, etc.) and keep them in a safe place away from everything. If these important documents need to be processed or put into the care of a lawyer, get them to those offices.
- Explore the Home & Make a Plan
Go through your loved one’s home and determine what they have, how much you’ll need to get rid of or put into storage, and what materials you need for packing or what transportation arrangements you need to make. Make a plan of action that is both efficient, but also lets you take the time you need to process and not get overwhelmed.
- Start the Decluttering Process
Start going through your loved one’s items room by room, and don’t try to take on the whole house at once. Begin with one area, like the bedroom or living room, and focus on sorting through those items first. Take your time with each item, as this can be an emotional process. Remember to ask for help if you feel overwhelmed and give yourself grace throughout the process.
- Handle Sentimental Items with Care
Sentimental items often carry deep emotional weight. Don’t feel pressured to make decisions quickly. Consider keeping a few special items or creating a memory box. You can also photograph certain belongings to preserve the memories without needing to keep everything physically. Sharing these items or stories with loved ones can also provide comfort and connection during the grieving process.
- Categorize Cleared Out Items
The most efficient way to tackle a decluttering process is to not only take things room by room, but to categorize things into “keep”, “give away”, “donate”, “sell”, and “throwaway” sections. This will let you quickly go through items and also get them to their secondary locations gradually, instead of all at once.
- Clean and Sanitize
Once items are sorted, begin cleaning each room. Dust surfaces, vacuum carpets, sanitize handles and appliances, and wash bedding or curtains. This process helps refresh the space, remove any lingering odors, and can bring a sense of renewal and peace to the home. Involving calming music or lighting scented candles can also make the experience more soothing and therapeutic.
- Donate, Sell, or Throw Out Categorized Items
Once you’ve properly organized these items, gradually clear them out and bring them to donation centers, appraisers, or wherever their proper place should be. This is best done day by day, instead of all at once, which can be a pretty large task. If you have enough things to sell, coordinate an estate sale to clear things out all at once.
- Seek Professional Help if Needed
If the task feels too emotionally or physically demanding, consider hiring a professional cleaning service or grief cleaning specialist. Therapists or grief counsellors can also support your emotional well-being. It’s okay to ask for help—healing and closure often require both internal and external support.
The way you approach the decluttering process of your loved one’s home can really help you with the mourning period, and also allow you to reminisce and think of happy memories you have with them that you may not have remembered otherwise. It can also help you see more of who your loved one was before you were born, or just to learn more about them in general.
Going through their old items can really help to reflect on sweet moments and even learn more about your family history, while also both clearing out their space and allowing yourself to let go of material items that remind you of them while realizing that losing these items doesn’t mean losing the memory you have of this person.
Most importantly, make sure to prioritize your grieving and mental health during this time, and don’t be afraid to ask for help or to take a step back or a break. This can be a super overwhelming time and task for anyone – take time for yourself!
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